Language Lessons: Mixed Messages

Big news this week, everybody! B and I both passed our Module 1 Danish exams, so now we can carry on to Module 2 in January. And at the end of Module 2 (at least according to the Danish government), we will have a BREAKTHROUGH!

To be perfectly honest, I'm not really sure what kind of breakthrough that will be, but I'm looking forward to it. See, right now I understand kind of a lot of Danish. At least a lot more than I used to. I can read almost all the signs, advertisements, mail. I can have unscripted conversations with people I don't know. (More about that to follow). And as aforementioned, I've passed my exam. There's one problem, though.

Danes. Danes are a big obstacle to speaking Danish. And I mean this in the nicest possible way. Many Danes are very kind to me and my fledgling Danish, letting me speak slowly, switching to English for just the part I don't understand and then back to Danish, and becoming positively effervescent about the Danish I have just spoken. That is all great. The part that is a bit problematic* is Danish language purists. They're out there, in large numbers. This is what they do.

(Obviously, this is all happening in Danish. But for your edification, I've translated most of it.)

Example A:

Danish Purist #1: So where do you live?
B: We live on Lundbyesgade.
DP #1: In the city! It's also nice near the forest.
B: Yes, I used to live by Risskov (a forest).
DP #1: Where?
B: Risskov.
DP #1: You lived where?
B: Risskov!
DP #1: I don't understand.
B: Risskov, the forest!
DP #1: Ah, Risskov!

Example B:
Danish Purist #2: E, what is your news story about?
E: It is about a problem with young sygeplejersker (nurses).
DP #2: A problem with what?
E: Young sygeplejersker.
DP#2: Young whats?
E: Sygeplejersker!
DP#2: I have no idea what you are saying.
E: Sygeplejersker! Nurses.
Dp#2: Ahh, sygeplejersker!

Try to imagine the purists peering at you intently, looking confused, and finally pronouncing the word in question almost exactly as you did. Seriously, really really close.

In fairness, Danish has a lot of words that are spelled exactly the same, but pronounced slightly differently in order to indicate a different meaning.

For instance, there's dør and dør. Meaning door, and dies. Like dying. So don't mess that one up.

Or dyr and dyr. Meaning expensive, and animal. Also good not to confuse.

As we can see, it is important to pronounce words correctly. But come on, you really didn't know which local forest B was talking about? You really have no idea what your language students are saying? Come on, how many words are there that sound remotely like sygeplejersker? Really? Meet me halfway here, purists. I know you speak better English than I speak Danish, but you also have about five times more vowel sounds than I do. So you already know how to make every possible sound out there. I'm at a disadvantage.

This probably sounds like the rant of a stage 2 expatriate. That's stage 2 according to the Kübler-Ross model, which is Anger. Mostly I'm not angry. And it's not denial when I say I'm not angry, either, because a lot of the time Danish is pretty good. It's kind of a funny language, but I like it. And I really like it when Danes speak to me and I get to speak back. Recently I've been proud to discuss my hat with a total stranger in the yarn shop, whether I'd like a package gift-wrapped, and if the biology building door will lock behind me when I leave. All those times were with real live Danes, the kind who don't pretend not to understand you! So thanks, awesome Danes. Keep speaking to me. You guys are the best.



*See how I'm acclimating? I'm getting really good at Danglish constructions.